Gun Control Now!

Since the horrendous massacre in Newtown, CT the press has been more open and aware about talking  gun control in America. What took so long? Why did it take so many massacres to bring this to light and even now, there is not enough being done. Slowly but surely I have noticed the topic is being swept under the carpet.

 Being British, I have never understood quiet frankly, the American gun culture and probably never will. It is not in my DNA. If American’s use guns to protect themselves, or use them for recreational purposes such as hunting or going to a gun range just for the sake of it, I just don’t get it.

War is a time when families have to worry about relatives being in foreign lands (including myself) with weapons that can kill, but at least we can, to an extent, make sense of it however,  why must we worry on our own doorsteps? Why should we have to worry for our children when we send them to school? Or walk down the block in a gang related shooting such as the latest one in Chicago which the First Lady attended the funeral.

Back in 1996, in Dunblane, 16 children were killed in a massacre in the UK, BUT UNLIKE the United States, something was done about it. John Major who was the Prime minister at the time immediately set up a public a  inquiry. Within one year there was a ban on all hand guns. That, was and is progress and currently there are very few gun shootings a year in the UK.

Back round checks have been suggested, as well as mental health checks. Honestly America, will that be enough to stop the massacres? It will definitely help, but more needs to be done. Something more dramatic.

Gun Control Now!

From 150lbs to 122lbs B4 & After :))

A small crush…! Hugely complicated!

I have not dated in many many years? I don’t even remember – yes it has been that long  and yes the last person was to my soon to be ex-husband. I met someone during a business meeting last week. The meeting was meant to be extreamly professional, but ended up being quiet informal, I left with butterflies in my stomach!! I quickly sent him an e-mail thanking him for meeting me etc… and he responded within a second, literally!

I also happen to follow this person on Twitter, he is well known… so the next day I decided to take a risk and email him, and let him know I liked his twitter pics of xmas decorations…and the mails went back and forth till Sunday night. Our original meeting was on the Friday….

The thing with me, as a person I am not a player, I have never been into the games, I am a straight arrow, (maybe that’s the Brit in me) especially after coming out of a marriage with a husband who has been unfaithful. But even when ‘flirting’ or whatever its called as I am new to it all… and he is aware of this…oh and this is even better, he is also still married and getting out of it, so he says!

I guess I am still afraid of being hurt, and always told myself I would give myself a year before I would ever get involved with someone on any level and just focus on my career. Why does life play tricks on us!

But just an FYI he said over the course of our 2 day e-mailing spree ‘I felt what you felt’. Now I cannot get him off my mind…I even wake up in the middle of the night….I kind of feel like a clumsy Bridget Jones….I keep checking my e-mail to see if I have a message from him and thinking up reasons to write. But I know I need to hold off…I guess it’s the game right… let him write? Girls, some advice to someone who has been out of a relationship for eternity!!!!

Twitterverse!!

Hi everyone, I hope you are all having a fantastic day!

No doubt, most of you tuned into the debate last night and have your opinions, I am in no way going to get political, for some reason I never win a political debate even though I know who I stand by! hint: he is African-American and has been around for four years doing a great job! It doesn’t really make a difference anyway since I cannot vote, being British!

So as the two debaters were going on at each other, I decided to check out the Twitterverse and boy was that place busy! From celebs to ‘nobodies’ having their say about each and every line that came out of Obama and Mitt’s mouth, but one quote got me laughing, and that was the one on if there was an attack on Israel… someone wrote ‘an attack on Israel would be like an attack on Zabars’. So I decided to check out who this person was… why? I loved his humour!

Not to be a stalker, I found him on LinkedIn, and sent him a request to add him. Surprisingly he accepted rather quickly! This morning, I sent him a note, after realising he is a big executive for a Media company we all know, but I will keep him anonymous out of respect. I told him that I found his comment last night rather humourous and went on to tell him about myself! I told him I had been working as a PA for the past ten years and am looking to get into something different… he wrote back immediately and said he would love to meet to see what he could do!

I am so excited to hear back for an exact date from his pa…but wish me luck, you never know who you can meet on Twitter!!! As someone once told me, always think out of the box! :))

Looking for a challenge in NYC?!!

It is a beautiful sunny autumn day here in NYC,  this week I am back and have my ‘fighting gear on’! I am drinking a large Luke warm glass of lemon water which is part of my daily ‘ritual’. I try and have several a day. It is excellent for the skin and body (see my blog on lemons). As for water, it is the only liquid I drink and has probably been one of the most useful aids in helping me lose weight. I even added an app on my Iphone called ‘water’ to make sure I drink enough, it can be annoying but it definitely helps. I am so proud of myself for losing the 24lbs that I have. I worked hard to lose that and now I am looking for a challenge, I am not sure what exactly I am looking for.. a hike, a bike ride, but something. Does anyone have any ideas for a challenge here in NYC? I am open for ideas, perhaps you would like to join me? Perhaps you too are looking for a challenge? Throw your ideas at me :))

Exercise is the answer to EVERYTHING!!!

I have missed being on WordPress for the past couple of months, catching up on recipes, whats going on in the fashion world, personal opinions as far as politics goes…and all the other personal blogs I read – be ready I am back!

As for my journey, I am still on it and I hope you all are too, whatever that may be. When I took a ‘time-out’ from writing I began a different journey. I had lost weight, but I was at a standstill, one morning I received an e-mail from Livingsocial.com advertising a boot camp. The only exercise I was doing at the time was walking and for me personally it was not enough, I needed some cardio, infact I needed a lot of cardio! I was also having seizures at the time, everything was a mess.

My life if you have been following me at all is slightly complicated, nothing crazy, but I spent way too much time crying (complaining) about it and I needed to just get up and do do do!! So I signed up with this boot camp and as you may guess it is the best thing I could have done, physically, mentally, emotionally – you name it. The energy that comes from one hour of full on cardio and toning with crazy trainers is just awesome, and then you just want more and more… it is like a drug. Then you of course want to continue eating healthy – because why waste that brilliant work out on a burger etc. Not that I have ever really liked burgers for some reason… sorry I am not American :)) My health is back on track, seizures are less and only come on due to stress, and being that I am going through a divorce… not easy. Even that I am seeing through a different light.

A few months ago I was just complaining and waiting to see what would happen… there were organizations that were going to help fund me with pro-bono lawyers – YEAH RIGHT!! On a serious note, I was speaking to a pro-bono lawyer over a time period of 8 months saying she would help me out of my situation…she made me wait and wait and wait at the very end of all this she then said ‘sorry I cannot take your case on’. Why couldn’t she just tell me this from day one? Anyway, I have learned that nothing in this world is free and only amazing friends will be there for you during difficult times and with a loan, I hired a lawyer and am filing for divorce. My husband and I are doing things as amicably as possible, for the sake of my daughter. Although there is a huge part of me that still wonders and I questions him as to why he never fought for me before filing, as I did warn him, which makes me sad, and I know and  he doesn’t want to get divorced – he just isn’t the type of person to fight,, or get the help he needs – he is a big momma’s boy and literally needs her to do everything for him. But sadly there is no trust after he cheated…. I need a new start and a healthier situation for my daughter.

Weight wise, I have lost 18lbs since day one and what is weird when I look in the mirror I don’t see a really thin me, but I feel healthy and that is the best feeling ever! I currently weigh 132lbs and I still have a way to go….remember I am not tall 🙂

Out Of The Zone

After having a seizure a week and half ago I was completely ‘out of it’. For those who are not familiar, having a seizure for me personally is not the difficult part because to be honest, I am unconscious and well, you could hit me over the head with a baseball bat and I wouldn’t know the difference! (However if you ever do witness someone having a seizure just turn them to their side and make sure they are in a safe place and don’t ever put anything in their mouth!)

The troublesome part is the recovery. I have found that over the years it gets longer to recover from a seizure. It used to be, that after a seizure I slept for a couple of hours and that was it, I was ready to get on with my day. After a few years it started to take a day or two after a seizure to recover. Now it is taking up to four or five days.

The exact time of the seizure happened in the middle of the night (Friday night) which is actually a first for me since I was diagnosed with Epilepsy in my teens. It was confirmed by my husband. I had my usual symptoms of nausea and extreme tiredness that day. The following week, literally Monday to Friday, I was very ‘lazy’ – I didn’t feel like going out much, I was very lethargic, didn’t feel like cooking, almost a depression, but not having depression, I can’t say it is. I know this will only last a few days and I will snap out of it at the right time.

On Friday, we were invited to friends for a weekend away, I went and got a manicure and pedicure, and spent a lovely weekend away… I was back to myself over the weekend, as I mentioned, I knew I would ‘snap out of it’. However, that feeling of losing yourself during that week is so scary and awful. I am not someone who believes in taking medication just for the sake of it.

So I can only hope and pray that I don’t get them and a cure or at least my medications I do take for them keeps the seizures at bay.

Living With Epilepsy / Seizures

I woke up at about 5am Saturday morning and did not feel myself, I felt rather nauseous. This feeling was familiar but not too recently, not since last December. It was the feeling after a Seizure. Not again, I thought. I can’t deal with this now, not that there is ever a good time, why can’t this just ever go away! It gets me so frustrated sometimes but there is nothing one can do about it. I just have to deal with it. I got Epilepsy when I was an early teenager when in London at just 13 years old. In the very early stages, I was not getting seizures at first, just little ‘shakes’. My parents and brothers thought I was doing it for attention! It was awful… the doctors too.

Weeks after I finally had a ‘Grand Mal’ Seizure, I was almost relieved that I proved them wrong. One Saturday morning, my brother called the ambulance and explained to the paramedics what they had seen. My entire body had been convulsing, shaking, they were terrified. I was unconscious. The doctors said to always leave someone with Epilepsy to have their seizure…always make sure they are safe, turn them on their side but NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN THEIR MOUTH. I recovered quickly and was put on anti seizure medication. The side effect was weight gain, but it kept the seizures at bay.

Unfortunately, here and there I still get some seizures and over the years the medications have changed. The types of seizures have also changed with age and amazingly I was able to still have a baby! She is my miracle baby! She is completely healthy thank Gd!

What was unusual for the seizure I had last Friday night was that it was in the middle of the night and I was not sure I had one, but my husband had confirmed that I did. I still feel a little exhausted from it, and it is Wednesday today. It is very hard for other people to understand what I go through, I don’t really try and explain to anyone else. This is the first time I have actually written about it.

I don’t find many people around me are understanding about it, especially my husband. He does what he needs to do to be helpful. The fact that we are getting divorced does not help…he tells me it is stressful for him and I am sure it is. I guess the fact that he keeps telling me how stressful it is doesn’t make me feel any better!

Do you know anyone who has a seizure disorder?

My Day Of Sin – Magnolia Bakery

After a very strict (I would say) regimen I went to Manhattan last Friday for a Doctor’s appointment and walked around the city. I decided to to treat myself to a chocolate vanilla cupcake from the one and only Magnolia’s Bakery and it was heavenly! Don’t worry I did not eat the second one, I got it for my husband. I love that I have so much self control and I am able to get so easily back into my healthily way of eating without feeling guilty that I had a delicious cupcake. While I did walk a little more the next day and when I weighed myself on Monday, I was down to 141lbs down another 2lbs. It is all about counting the calories, not obsessively but knowing approximately how many you should eat a day for your healthy weight as well as allowing yourself to have a treat here and there. Lots of fruit and vegetables is a MUST as well as water water water!!! I cannot say this enough.

Dissapointed In Myself…

Looking at the date today, April 23rd, I am realising that it is just three months away to my cousins wedding, my goal, and I am not losing the weight as quickly as I wanted to. While on a positive note, I have not put on any weight and I have lost a simple pound in the past week and a half. I am now 144lbs from 145lbs.

While I have been excellent at eating healthy, (lots of raw veggies, fruits, salads, grilled chicken, and salmon). What has been lacking in my life is a great exercise routine! The first common problem that so many people have before trying to lose weight (or any issue / obstacle they want to get over) is getting over the excuses we all come up with. In my case they are as follows: I cannot afford it, I am unemployed, I hate working out alone, all my friends are at work etc etc etc. The last time I had a successful exercise routine was when I went to the gym and had a great trainer, sadly that is not happening because I don’t have the finances at the moment. If you are rich and want to donate feel free, JUST KIDDING!

The first motivation killer is a lack of confidence, I’ll be the first to admit that. One needs to focus on what you have already accomplished and in my case, it is the weight I have already lost. If you focus on the negative, then your mind starts to come up with explanations and excuses. The way to get out of this mess is to think positive and start making realistic lists. Once again, in my case just walking around the neighborhood is just moving and therefore exercise. When you truly believe you deserve success your mind will find a way to achieve it.

What are your goals? Have you accomplished them? Share your story…