myjourney2healthy











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{October 22, 2012}   Looking for a challenge in NYC?!!

It is a beautiful sunny autumn day here in NYC,  this week I am back and have my ‘fighting gear on’! I am drinking a large Luke warm glass of lemon water which is part of my daily ‘ritual’. I try and have several a day. It is excellent for the skin and body (see my blog on lemons). As for water, it is the only liquid I drink and has probably been one of the most useful aids in helping me lose weight. I even added an app on my Iphone called ‘water’ to make sure I drink enough, it can be annoying but it definitely helps. I am so proud of myself for losing the 24lbs that I have. I worked hard to lose that and now I am looking for a challenge, I am not sure what exactly I am looking for.. a hike, a bike ride, but something. Does anyone have any ideas for a challenge here in NYC? I am open for ideas, perhaps you would like to join me? Perhaps you too are looking for a challenge? Throw your ideas at me :))



{October 19, 2012}   I feel like I am drowning…

I wrote a whole post, and for whatever reason it did not post. I yelled. So loudly. My throat hurts. I feel like everything and everyone is against me and I am slowly drowning. I am being tested and I don’t feel like I am passing. I have been through so much in my life, and I have always been the ‘cup is half full’ person. I am not sure what is happening to me.

If you have been following my journey, you will know that I have done well and have lost weight, I am now down 24lbs…..but today this is not about that.

At the moment for the first time, my divorce is bringing me down.  I even went into my divorce in a positive way beleive it or not, I beleived we could be the ‘modern family’ and be friends. Before the summer, I went to an ice cream parlour with my mother in law and explained that I had gotten a lawyer, however I wanted this divorce to be amicable. Even though my husband had been unfaithful to me since day one, I was not going to make that an issue. I didnt want my daughter to suffer. It was vital, that there was peace, so we agreed and as I discussed this with my husband that day too – we went on to have a summer going to the beach together. It was not easy on me but I did it…we went to the zoo and joined together for other activities such as the Jewish Holidays.

My husband who has very bad ADD or ADHD (he has never been diagnosed as an adult as he refuses to and lives in total denial, but he admits he has one or the other). He does not talk about it at all and this has also been a big part of the downfall to our marriage, not because he has ADD but because he refuses to get the help that he needs, and I feel so sad for him. He has his mother and father do everything for him, literally, including getting a lawyer which took the entire summer and cost me $2000 in lawyer fees (so far) just to chase him… and remind him over and over with his procrastination issues… he cannot hold a job, therefore he cannot provide for his daughter. He has his siblings write up his resume, and look for work for him, while he sits at home all day playing xbox.

While I seriously look for work and have done everything to be amicable with my husband and his family – and we were all summer, all of a sudden last week they turned on me and distanced themselves after hiring a lawyer. They took my baby’s passport away for fear that I would flee the country which anyone who knows me is ridiculous!! I am the most moral person there is and would never do such a thing, and I never gave them reason to think that.

I am still living with my husband, looking for work on a daily basis, I have even written blogs about that… I cannot afford to move out, I applied to common ground but they denied. I have tried so many organisations, but they cannot help, they just want to listen. I don’t get it.

Why can’t anyone help?? Why?? Why am I being punished for my husbands unfaithful behavior? When I wanted to do this amicably, why did they turn on me?

I just want to work hard and provide for my baby girl, why is that so much to ask. I am well educated with an excellent resume. Why can’t people help with living…



I have missed being on WordPress for the past couple of months, catching up on recipes, whats going on in the fashion world, personal opinions as far as politics goes…and all the other personal blogs I read – be ready I am back!

As for my journey, I am still on it and I hope you all are too, whatever that may be. When I took a ‘time-out’ from writing I began a different journey. I had lost weight, but I was at a standstill, one morning I received an e-mail from Livingsocial.com advertising a boot camp. The only exercise I was doing at the time was walking and for me personally it was not enough, I needed some cardio, infact I needed a lot of cardio! I was also having seizures at the time, everything was a mess.

My life if you have been following me at all is slightly complicated, nothing crazy, but I spent way too much time crying (complaining) about it and I needed to just get up and do do do!! So I signed up with this boot camp and as you may guess it is the best thing I could have done, physically, mentally, emotionally – you name it. The energy that comes from one hour of full on cardio and toning with crazy trainers is just awesome, and then you just want more and more… it is like a drug. Then you of course want to continue eating healthy – because why waste that brilliant work out on a burger etc. Not that I have ever really liked burgers for some reason… sorry I am not American :)) My health is back on track, seizures are less and only come on due to stress, and being that I am going through a divorce… not easy. Even that I am seeing through a different light.

A few months ago I was just complaining and waiting to see what would happen… there were organizations that were going to help fund me with pro-bono lawyers – YEAH RIGHT!! On a serious note, I was speaking to a pro-bono lawyer over a time period of 8 months saying she would help me out of my situation…she made me wait and wait and wait at the very end of all this she then said ‘sorry I cannot take your case on’. Why couldn’t she just tell me this from day one? Anyway, I have learned that nothing in this world is free and only amazing friends will be there for you during difficult times and with a loan, I hired a lawyer and am filing for divorce. My husband and I are doing things as amicably as possible, for the sake of my daughter. Although there is a huge part of me that still wonders and I questions him as to why he never fought for me before filing, as I did warn him, which makes me sad, and I know and  he doesn’t want to get divorced – he just isn’t the type of person to fight,, or get the help he needs – he is a big momma’s boy and literally needs her to do everything for him. But sadly there is no trust after he cheated…. I need a new start and a healthier situation for my daughter.

Weight wise, I have lost 18lbs since day one and what is weird when I look in the mirror I don’t see a really thin me, but I feel healthy and that is the best feeling ever! I currently weigh 132lbs and I still have a way to go….remember I am not tall 🙂



After a very strict (I would say) regimen I went to Manhattan last Friday for a Doctor’s appointment and walked around the city. I decided to to treat myself to a chocolate vanilla cupcake from the one and only Magnolia’s Bakery and it was heavenly! Don’t worry I did not eat the second one, I got it for my husband. I love that I have so much self control and I am able to get so easily back into my healthily way of eating without feeling guilty that I had a delicious cupcake. While I did walk a little more the next day and when I weighed myself on Monday, I was down to 141lbs down another 2lbs. It is all about counting the calories, not obsessively but knowing approximately how many you should eat a day for your healthy weight as well as allowing yourself to have a treat here and there. Lots of fruit and vegetables is a MUST as well as water water water!!! I cannot say this enough.

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As I drink my morning coffee, I put on the Today Show, and they have 5 things you should be able to do by the time your in your 30’s

  • The ability to fall in love without losing yourself
  • The confidence to quit your job
  • The comfort of living alone
  • The knowledge your body is beautiful
  • The belief you deserve it!

As for the ability to fall in love I learned the very hard way. For those who have been following my journey since day one you will know my hardships. I fell in love with my husband and totally lost myself, I was blind to who he was, and unfortunately only when I was 5 months pregnant did I find out he was being unfaithful. But that is not what I want to focus on. It is moving on with my life, the lessons learned and as one must never do, lose ones self in love as the results can be devastating!

The confidence to quit a job –  if one is unhappy in a job you should be able to to leave in a mature manner rather then storm out, one never wants to burn bridges as you never know when they may be useful to  you.

The comfort of living alone – this is best to learn all about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses. What you enjoy doing in your down time…do not think about this as a negative, it is not!

The knowledge your body is beautiful – while I am on a journey to be healthy and lose weight, there was one thing my mother always says to me and that is I am always beautiful. I just have to believe it. This is a constant fight I have with myself, there are parts of myself I like / love and other I hate. I hate my tree trunk legs, and do my best to hide them. Then I have a tiny little waste, so how can I complain? Why can’t we just be happy little campers and appreciate what we have!!! We have such nerve to complain about our bodies when others have far worse to complain about!

The belief you deserve it – This is the hardest for me as I have not left my husband just yet. I am still in the stages of trying to figure out HOW to do it. It is really not that easy with a child. If it was just me, I would of been out a year ago! If you knew me personally you would know I am an adventurer, I came to the States when I was just 18 with no money, and travelled around, those are for other posts 🙂 I know I deserve it, I know my daughter deserves better and I am in the midst of preparing a much better life for the both of us, it is just a matter of time. When I figure it out…I’ll post it!

Positivity and faith is what keeps me going,  and watching The Today show really made me think this morning :))



{April 12, 2012}   Should I be upset??

Good morning All,

I am feeling a whole lot better this morning and it does not feel like a chore to turn on the computer as it did the past couple of days.

After studying at the Gemological Institute Of America, and working in the diamond industry for ten years, a friend approached me and told me he was getting engaged to his girlfriend, a common practice among my friends (not to mention word of mouth) who have good faith in me even now I no longer work in the industry as I still have all my contacts. He called me over the past month for lengthy conversations to ask me all sorts of questions, to get advice which of course I was thrilled to give and help with the good faith that he would be coming to purchase a diamond. I did have in the back of my mind that it was always a possibility he could always go elsewhere,  what was different was the amount of information he was taking from me and then going elsewhere and being such a close friend was now just being a bit rude. Or was it? He has every right to go anywhere he wants… so I let it go and told myself not to take it so seriously.

A few weeks past, I received a call. My friend had purchased a diamond from some ‘people he knew’ and he wanted me to give him my opinion. I breathed. I had already given him basic warnings which he had thought were silly such as make sure the  – lighting is correct if you purchase your diamond somewhere else (no spotlights as this alters what the real diamond looks like, and believe me every jewelry store you walk into has them!) – try and see the diamond out of the setting and look with a 10x magnified loop and the list goes on. I gave him a quick education about the four c’s color, cut clarity and carat. He sent me a scanned copy of his GIA certificate of the diamond he had gotten, (which is a detailed legitimate certificate of the diamond). He told me the price he had been charged, and he wanted to know what is the price I would of charged him. Ouch. Why would someone put me in a corner like that?

I called my ‘contact’ in the famed NYC diamond district who checked the weekly Rappaport diamond prices, which is an industry standard for pricing diamonds, it is published weekly and only available to those in the industry. I then called my friend and told him directly what his diamond was worth and what he might have been charged by the ‘people he knew’. He had been screwed over. He had paid $5000 for his diamond and it was worth only $3600. I would rather have not had told him so as not to make him feel bad, but he insisted in knowing, then came all the apologies, I kept silent, what was I to say? I told you so?

As frustrated as I was, I still feel so terrible about what happened in the end to him, it is not like I was going to make a fortune out of my friend, my commission would of been $300. He knew that, I was upfront about it. I never wanted him to get hurt by anyone and he did. However, everything does happen for a reason. Diamond retailers are the worst and known for their highway robbery, but like a lot of mechanics ‘wholesale diamond sellers’ can really rob you if you are not educated about the diamonds, read up on line about the basics, you can go to GIA.ORG for some tips about diamonds and if you know what you are talking about, it will make all the difference, I promise!



{April 11, 2012}   Sleeping on a bed of tissues

This week did not go quiet as planned as I came down with a terrible head cold and while I had a lovely passover, the days after were  spent ignoring my toddler as I spent the day drugged up on Dayquil, tea with honey and on a bed of tissues. Leaving the television on in the back round as I dosed on and off all day with a throbbing head seemed to be the theme of the week. Finally this morning, I woke  up feeling slightly better and even turned on my computer which I have neglected for the past couple of days.

Being sick, I lost my eating routine, I ate less, I never got all my vegetable and salads in, I never drank much water. On a regular day I drink a couple of bottles a day of 23oz’s – everything stopped these past few days. One would think, that if you stop eating you lose weight, but it doesn’t work like that, the body needs all that healthy nutrition, and especially the water to maintain a healthy way of life. I hydrated through teas and ate some chicken and chicken soup which was about as much as I could, with all said and done, I only lost 1lb. I am just happy I didn’t gain anything with all the holidays! So I am now down to 145lbs, which I am thrilled with and all I can say to everyone is keep eating healthy!



Good morning Everyone!

If you are unemployed like myself and a ‘regular interviewer’ you will be familiar with the questions such as “tell me about yourself?” or “how do you deal with stress?”. These are common and basic questions which we all have prepared, I try to update my answer with every interview as a ‘lessoned learned” and of course personalise each question with an example. With the first twenty seconds of the interview being so crucial, you would think I had it figured out!

However, I am obviously still missing something. I know I am doing something right as the companies that I am aiming for are calling me in. One of the largest diamond companies called me in several months ago for a first interview, one that we all see walk down the Oscar / Emmy red carpet – I’ll keep away from names! I sailed through the first interview, they even made me write an essay about ‘why I wanted to join the company!” They didn’t know I love to write, so bingo for me! I had to then take some computer exams, and after passing all, they called me in a week later for interview number two. What a disaster. The first interview, was a complete success, I had met about three people  I would have been working with directly, they were crucial. The second interview flopped because the person interviewing me was such a stern person, I completely froze!! Why? Why? Why?? I couldn’t even answer the most basic questions that I knew. It was not fair. If this women asked me how old I was, I probably would not have known the answer. I never heard back again from them!

Recently I had another interview with an even better opportunity which made me realise getting over the above situation was totally fine as there is something for me out there. Just someone has to believe in me, at some point. This time it was a massive media company, how exciting! They had everything I wanted, fashion, celebrities, and the best writing! Everything I could dream about, I just needed to ace the interview, my hurdle. I had the nicest sweetest lady who interviewed me. She asked the  questions, I answered as much as I prepared but for some reason again I was all nerves, perhaps because I wanted this position so badly, because I needed this position so badly.  While I did not freeze at this interview, she did notice how nervous I was and offered me water and told me not to be nervous. Not a good thing! I did apologise. Confidence sells, not nerves! I couldn’t believe I was messing this up. She said she would be in touch with me, and while I have never heard back from her, not even an apology “someone else better fits this position” letter, I am still hoping I will hear from her as it was only a couple of weeks ago. I of course followed up with a thank you letter. Maybe a miracle can happen.

Yesterday, I had yet my final straw, although this was slightly different. It was an interview with a massive fashion house. It actually went well, but I didn’t really want it, surprisingly, while I would love to work at a massive fashion house, I just did not like the attitude at this particular one! So different to all my other interviews, I was a little more confident!! Of course they said they would get back to me…

I am still searching for the right position, I avoid the scamming recruitment agencies who will just waste your time (that is another post and a book / movie! They make me so angry!!) I have every confidence that someone will have faith in me.



{April 3, 2012}   Goodmorning All…

Goodmorning All,

Although I feel slightly stressed this morning I always like to try and start on a positive note and still try and find the best out of every situation because my philosophy is and as I grow ‘older..’ is that everything does truly happen for a reason.

Growing up with three older and as they will claim, ‘wiser’ brothers, they of course know best! After all I am just the baby sister who has continuously made mistakes throughout my life, whether they are financial decisions, relationship mishaps, or my body image!  While they have always said to me, “you have so much to offer, I am not sure why you waste your life away..” Did I choose to get into debt when I was younger? When I was attracted to all that “free money” with high APR’s when I was so clueless at 18 to what those 3 big evil letters even meant! While at the same time I did work hard, but sadly every penny went to payments rather than savings. What a waste. My brother would have a field day with ‘what were you thinking…?? How could you?’ Of course he meant well, to protect his baby sister, to love. Going back a few years to when I was a whole lot younger, when I was a teen, my parents were divorced, my father

did not take on too much responsibility as he should have. Looking back now, I don’t think he knew how. He didn’t have a degree, and had odd jobs, so no real income. My mother looked after her four children really hard and did everything she could from morning to night.  I learned all my ethics and morals from  my dear mother and my grandmother who is everything to me, however one thing my father was good at and that was business PR and I beleive I picked that up from him. Aside from that he has always been in our lives but not a figure in our lives as he never led by example, at least not a good example! This certainly presented many obstacles and life lessons for me personaly which is where my brothers would step in as the father figure, being 5, 8 and 10 years my senior.

As for my relationships past and present, I have not had many, but my current, my marriage will be a post of it’s own! It deserves it. It has had its beautiful moments, rather then reflecting only on the negatives. Sadly it will be coming to an end soon, I still live with my husband, we have the most beautiful little girl in the world to us. She is the happiest little girl, she made everyone’s heart smile when she was born, and she continues to do so with her huge heart today. She is only 19 months, but just going to the supermarket she will make sure to say hello to everyone by blowing kisses. She will make an angry man, smile.

When I met my husband we rushed into our marriage, after just three months we were engaged and a year later married. We moved in and it was just a total disaster. There were terrible moments and good moments, those good moments were when I got pregnant.  I then discovered my husband was being unfaithful, when I was pregnant with my baby. After confronting my husband, he begged me to give him another chance and he would do whatever it would take ‘to make it work’. However, he did not do a thing to make the marriage work, we went to therapy, I had found out that he had been cheating on me since day one of the marriage and I had been the fool. It was all a lie. He just wanted someone to take back to his well to do family. If you had met my husband, you would have been shocked. He is the nicest boy next door, the last guy to expect to do this. I guess they always are. I repated what my mother did, shocker! We swear we never will.

My brothers were upset and were on to me. It wasn’t what can we do to help? Rather



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