myjourney2healthy











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I have missed being on WordPress for the past couple of months, catching up on recipes, whats going on in the fashion world, personal opinions as far as politics goes…and all the other personal blogs I read – be ready I am back!

As for my journey, I am still on it and I hope you all are too, whatever that may be. When I took a ‘time-out’ from writing I began a different journey. I had lost weight, but I was at a standstill, one morning I received an e-mail from Livingsocial.com advertising a boot camp. The only exercise I was doing at the time was walking and for me personally it was not enough, I needed some cardio, infact I needed a lot of cardio! I was also having seizures at the time, everything was a mess.

My life if you have been following me at all is slightly complicated, nothing crazy, but I spent way too much time crying (complaining) about it and I needed to just get up and do do do!! So I signed up with this boot camp and as you may guess it is the best thing I could have done, physically, mentally, emotionally – you name it. The energy that comes from one hour of full on cardio and toning with crazy trainers is just awesome, and then you just want more and more… it is like a drug. Then you of course want to continue eating healthy – because why waste that brilliant work out on a burger etc. Not that I have ever really liked burgers for some reason… sorry I am not American :)) My health is back on track, seizures are less and only come on due to stress, and being that I am going through a divorce… not easy. Even that I am seeing through a different light.

A few months ago I was just complaining and waiting to see what would happen… there were organizations that were going to help fund me with pro-bono lawyers – YEAH RIGHT!! On a serious note, I was speaking to a pro-bono lawyer over a time period of 8 months saying she would help me out of my situation…she made me wait and wait and wait at the very end of all this she then said ‘sorry I cannot take your case on’. Why couldn’t she just tell me this from day one? Anyway, I have learned that nothing in this world is free and only amazing friends will be there for you during difficult times and with a loan, I hired a lawyer and am filing for divorce. My husband and I are doing things as amicably as possible, for the sake of my daughter. Although there is a huge part of me that still wonders and I questions him as to why he never fought for me before filing, as I did warn him, which makes me sad, and I know and  he doesn’t want to get divorced – he just isn’t the type of person to fight,, or get the help he needs – he is a big momma’s boy and literally needs her to do everything for him. But sadly there is no trust after he cheated…. I need a new start and a healthier situation for my daughter.

Weight wise, I have lost 18lbs since day one and what is weird when I look in the mirror I don’t see a really thin me, but I feel healthy and that is the best feeling ever! I currently weigh 132lbs and I still have a way to go….remember I am not tall 🙂



{May 9, 2012}   Out Of The Zone

After having a seizure a week and half ago I was completely ‘out of it’. For those who are not familiar, having a seizure for me personally is not the difficult part because to be honest, I am unconscious and well, you could hit me over the head with a baseball bat and I wouldn’t know the difference! (However if you ever do witness someone having a seizure just turn them to their side and make sure they are in a safe place and don’t ever put anything in their mouth!)

The troublesome part is the recovery. I have found that over the years it gets longer to recover from a seizure. It used to be, that after a seizure I slept for a couple of hours and that was it, I was ready to get on with my day. After a few years it started to take a day or two after a seizure to recover. Now it is taking up to four or five days.

The exact time of the seizure happened in the middle of the night (Friday night) which is actually a first for me since I was diagnosed with Epilepsy in my teens. It was confirmed by my husband. I had my usual symptoms of nausea and extreme tiredness that day. The following week, literally Monday to Friday, I was very ‘lazy’ – I didn’t feel like going out much, I was very lethargic, didn’t feel like cooking, almost a depression, but not having depression, I can’t say it is. I know this will only last a few days and I will snap out of it at the right time.

On Friday, we were invited to friends for a weekend away, I went and got a manicure and pedicure, and spent a lovely weekend away… I was back to myself over the weekend, as I mentioned, I knew I would ‘snap out of it’. However, that feeling of losing yourself during that week is so scary and awful. I am not someone who believes in taking medication just for the sake of it.

So I can only hope and pray that I don’t get them and a cure or at least my medications I do take for them keeps the seizures at bay.



I woke up at about 5am Saturday morning and did not feel myself, I felt rather nauseous. This feeling was familiar but not too recently, not since last December. It was the feeling after a Seizure. Not again, I thought. I can’t deal with this now, not that there is ever a good time, why can’t this just ever go away! It gets me so frustrated sometimes but there is nothing one can do about it. I just have to deal with it. I got Epilepsy when I was an early teenager when in London at just 13 years old. In the very early stages, I was not getting seizures at first, just little ‘shakes’. My parents and brothers thought I was doing it for attention! It was awful… the doctors too.

Weeks after I finally had a ‘Grand Mal’ Seizure, I was almost relieved that I proved them wrong. One Saturday morning, my brother called the ambulance and explained to the paramedics what they had seen. My entire body had been convulsing, shaking, they were terrified. I was unconscious. The doctors said to always leave someone with Epilepsy to have their seizure…always make sure they are safe, turn them on their side but NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN THEIR MOUTH. I recovered quickly and was put on anti seizure medication. The side effect was weight gain, but it kept the seizures at bay.

Unfortunately, here and there I still get some seizures and over the years the medications have changed. The types of seizures have also changed with age and amazingly I was able to still have a baby! She is my miracle baby! She is completely healthy thank Gd!

What was unusual for the seizure I had last Friday night was that it was in the middle of the night and I was not sure I had one, but my husband had confirmed that I did. I still feel a little exhausted from it, and it is Wednesday today. It is very hard for other people to understand what I go through, I don’t really try and explain to anyone else. This is the first time I have actually written about it.

I don’t find many people around me are understanding about it, especially my husband. He does what he needs to do to be helpful. The fact that we are getting divorced does not help…he tells me it is stressful for him and I am sure it is. I guess the fact that he keeps telling me how stressful it is doesn’t make me feel any better!

Do you know anyone who has a seizure disorder?



et cetera