myjourney2healthy











{February 11, 2013}   Dissapointing Grammy

For years the Grammys have been a place where outrageous artists could express their talent through their fashion. However, this year there was the famous ‘memo’ and everyone came dressed conservatively. Katy Perry’s dress was considered ‘out of line’ because she showed too much ‘boobage’ however, in previous years this would be considered tame, not just for her but compare that to Lady Gaga’s meat dress or J’lo’s barely there dress.

This took away from the excitement of the Grammys, we might have been watching the Emmy’s or another award show, not to mention the lack of good quality music during the actual show.

Let’s hope next year will be better!

Advertisements


20121110-200325.jpg

IMG_0888



{May 9, 2012}   Out Of The Zone

After having a seizure a week and half ago I was completely ‘out of it’. For those who are not familiar, having a seizure for me personally is not the difficult part because to be honest, I am unconscious and well, you could hit me over the head with a baseball bat and I wouldn’t know the difference! (However if you ever do witness someone having a seizure just turn them to their side and make sure they are in a safe place and don’t ever put anything in their mouth!)

The troublesome part is the recovery. I have found that over the years it gets longer to recover from a seizure. It used to be, that after a seizure I slept for a couple of hours and that was it, I was ready to get on with my day. After a few years it started to take a day or two after a seizure to recover. Now it is taking up to four or five days.

The exact time of the seizure happened in the middle of the night (Friday night) which is actually a first for me since I was diagnosed with Epilepsy in my teens. It was confirmed by my husband. I had my usual symptoms of nausea and extreme tiredness that day. The following week, literally Monday to Friday, I was very ‘lazy’ – I didn’t feel like going out much, I was very lethargic, didn’t feel like cooking, almost a depression, but not having depression, I can’t say it is. I know this will only last a few days and I will snap out of it at the right time.

On Friday, we were invited to friends for a weekend away, I went and got a manicure and pedicure, and spent a lovely weekend away… I was back to myself over the weekend, as I mentioned, I knew I would ‘snap out of it’. However, that feeling of losing yourself during that week is so scary and awful. I am not someone who believes in taking medication just for the sake of it.

So I can only hope and pray that I don’t get them and a cure or at least my medications I do take for them keeps the seizures at bay.



After a very strict (I would say) regimen I went to Manhattan last Friday for a Doctor’s appointment and walked around the city. I decided to to treat myself to a chocolate vanilla cupcake from the one and only Magnolia’s Bakery and it was heavenly! Don’t worry I did not eat the second one, I got it for my husband. I love that I have so much self control and I am able to get so easily back into my healthily way of eating without feeling guilty that I had a delicious cupcake. While I did walk a little more the next day and when I weighed myself on Monday, I was down to 141lbs down another 2lbs. It is all about counting the calories, not obsessively but knowing approximately how many you should eat a day for your healthy weight as well as allowing yourself to have a treat here and there. Lots of fruit and vegetables is a MUST as well as water water water!!! I cannot say this enough.

Image

Image

ImageImage



As I drink my morning coffee, I put on the Today Show, and they have 5 things you should be able to do by the time your in your 30’s

  • The ability to fall in love without losing yourself
  • The confidence to quit your job
  • The comfort of living alone
  • The knowledge your body is beautiful
  • The belief you deserve it!

As for the ability to fall in love I learned the very hard way. For those who have been following my journey since day one you will know my hardships. I fell in love with my husband and totally lost myself, I was blind to who he was, and unfortunately only when I was 5 months pregnant did I find out he was being unfaithful. But that is not what I want to focus on. It is moving on with my life, the lessons learned and as one must never do, lose ones self in love as the results can be devastating!

The confidence to quit a job –  if one is unhappy in a job you should be able to to leave in a mature manner rather then storm out, one never wants to burn bridges as you never know when they may be useful to  you.

The comfort of living alone – this is best to learn all about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses. What you enjoy doing in your down time…do not think about this as a negative, it is not!

The knowledge your body is beautiful – while I am on a journey to be healthy and lose weight, there was one thing my mother always says to me and that is I am always beautiful. I just have to believe it. This is a constant fight I have with myself, there are parts of myself I like / love and other I hate. I hate my tree trunk legs, and do my best to hide them. Then I have a tiny little waste, so how can I complain? Why can’t we just be happy little campers and appreciate what we have!!! We have such nerve to complain about our bodies when others have far worse to complain about!

The belief you deserve it – This is the hardest for me as I have not left my husband just yet. I am still in the stages of trying to figure out HOW to do it. It is really not that easy with a child. If it was just me, I would of been out a year ago! If you knew me personally you would know I am an adventurer, I came to the States when I was just 18 with no money, and travelled around, those are for other posts 🙂 I know I deserve it, I know my daughter deserves better and I am in the midst of preparing a much better life for the both of us, it is just a matter of time. When I figure it out…I’ll post it!

Positivity and faith is what keeps me going,  and watching The Today show really made me think this morning :))



{April 23, 2012}   Dissapointed In Myself…

Looking at the date today, April 23rd, I am realising that it is just three months away to my cousins wedding, my goal, and I am not losing the weight as quickly as I wanted to. While on a positive note, I have not put on any weight and I have lost a simple pound in the past week and a half. I am now 144lbs from 145lbs.

While I have been excellent at eating healthy, (lots of raw veggies, fruits, salads, grilled chicken, and salmon). What has been lacking in my life is a great exercise routine! The first common problem that so many people have before trying to lose weight (or any issue / obstacle they want to get over) is getting over the excuses we all come up with. In my case they are as follows: I cannot afford it, I am unemployed, I hate working out alone, all my friends are at work etc etc etc. The last time I had a successful exercise routine was when I went to the gym and had a great trainer, sadly that is not happening because I don’t have the finances at the moment. If you are rich and want to donate feel free, JUST KIDDING!

The first motivation killer is a lack of confidence, I’ll be the first to admit that. One needs to focus on what you have already accomplished and in my case, it is the weight I have already lost. If you focus on the negative, then your mind starts to come up with explanations and excuses. The way to get out of this mess is to think positive and start making realistic lists. Once again, in my case just walking around the neighborhood is just moving and therefore exercise. When you truly believe you deserve success your mind will find a way to achieve it.

What are your goals? Have you accomplished them? Share your story…



{April 15, 2012}   Fashion Fwd!!!

After dropping a few lbs I never realised it would impact my wardrobe so quickly, not a negative but definitely a pricey situation! Going into spring / summer and leaving my current marital situation behind me soon enough, there are a lot of new starts. So I decided to really embrace the new with color and positivity. While I still have a good 20 – 30lbs to lose and keeping with eating very healthy as a daily routine, I started to add some new clothing to my closet so I would never allow myself to get back to the larger size clothing. It was positive reinforcement for myself  as well as a boost. I have gone to a size 4 from a size 12…

Weekend shopping consisted of some basics for any closets:

PRINTED DRESS

This is from Zara, it is such a light and easy dress to wear and being that I am petite it goes down to my knees so unlike the model who is 8 feet in the above picture, it actually covers up all that I want hidden!

This above sweater is from Express. I don’t normally purchase things from there, but I really thought this was cute with a pair of black jeans I have.

Once Again Zara to the rescue. They are genius and so easy to wear!

Yea right, that’s me ha ha. For any male reader who got to the second line of this post you missed out!! What are any of these outfits with out the perfect Victoria Secrets Dream Angel Bra! I have to say, a little pricey, but definitely worth it…I have sworn by VS for years.

At the end of the day, being unemployed, I really should not be buying clothing, I cannot afford it but I have rewarded myself with color and the feeling that I must go on and perhaps I need to start with something completely fresh in my life, something bright for the future as well as positive and healthy!!



{April 11, 2012}   Sleeping on a bed of tissues

This week did not go quiet as planned as I came down with a terrible head cold and while I had a lovely passover, the days after were  spent ignoring my toddler as I spent the day drugged up on Dayquil, tea with honey and on a bed of tissues. Leaving the television on in the back round as I dosed on and off all day with a throbbing head seemed to be the theme of the week. Finally this morning, I woke  up feeling slightly better and even turned on my computer which I have neglected for the past couple of days.

Being sick, I lost my eating routine, I ate less, I never got all my vegetable and salads in, I never drank much water. On a regular day I drink a couple of bottles a day of 23oz’s – everything stopped these past few days. One would think, that if you stop eating you lose weight, but it doesn’t work like that, the body needs all that healthy nutrition, and especially the water to maintain a healthy way of life. I hydrated through teas and ate some chicken and chicken soup which was about as much as I could, with all said and done, I only lost 1lb. I am just happy I didn’t gain anything with all the holidays! So I am now down to 145lbs, which I am thrilled with and all I can say to everyone is keep eating healthy!



Happy Holiday weekend to everyone, no matter what holiday you celebate, or don’t for that matter, as long as you have the weekend off work! As I am Jewish, and traditional, I have been going to a seder for as long as can I remember. The week before is quiet hectic as the cleanup begins, which is basically a good excuse to ‘clean any bread crumbs from around the house’ or a good spring cleaning! Every closet, every corner gets a detox and revamp. You get those moment’s of ‘ahh thats where it was’! Then there is the most complicated and that is the kitchen which is the most important because not only does one have to clean exceptionally well like the rest of the house but it has to be ‘koshered for Passover’…. which involves leaving an oven on for 4 hours, a microwave with boiling water in it for 3 minutes etc etc I won’t go on! It is more the after feeling of freshness that is so wonderful and achieving and beyond special. What is missing? My family!

They are miles and miles away… my mom (originally french)  lives in South Africa with my brothers, I have another brother who lives in Poland with his family and my father is in London. While we talk all the time via Skype, nothing is as special as the memories I have of the passover seder (first and second meal) craziness, yes craziness we have had over the past 33 years of my life with my family.

I have so many memories, none without all my brothers and I bursting into fits of laughter at every single seder, without fail. We had one aim as soon as we sat down to the seder, at that was to get to the meal time as quickly as possible however, my father would do everything he could to slow the process and make it last as long as possible. The one savior, wine!! While there were the four cups of wine that we were sopposed to drink, we must have gone through many many more to survive the seder! There were also the other fun parts like having the bitter herbs and charoseth but it was all the reading and sub-reading and explainations and then the fits of laughter that of course we would continuously get into trouble for, but we could not help it.

Years later we have had family reunions in South Africa, more Seder traditions and not too much has changed other than grand kids for my mother.

While the actual Seder is a whole lot shorter and we seem to get to the meal a little faster, maybe we are getting a little older? The laughter has not stopped, and for that I am so grateful. I no longer sing Ma’nishtana as I was the youngest of the siblings…and there are a lot of neices, nephews and my beautiful daughter.

I hope next year if not in Jerusalem, I’ll at least be with my family!!

Happy Holidays everyone!!



{April 3, 2012}   Goodmorning All…

Goodmorning All,

Although I feel slightly stressed this morning I always like to try and start on a positive note and still try and find the best out of every situation because my philosophy is and as I grow ‘older..’ is that everything does truly happen for a reason.

Growing up with three older and as they will claim, ‘wiser’ brothers, they of course know best! After all I am just the baby sister who has continuously made mistakes throughout my life, whether they are financial decisions, relationship mishaps, or my body image!  While they have always said to me, “you have so much to offer, I am not sure why you waste your life away..” Did I choose to get into debt when I was younger? When I was attracted to all that “free money” with high APR’s when I was so clueless at 18 to what those 3 big evil letters even meant! While at the same time I did work hard, but sadly every penny went to payments rather than savings. What a waste. My brother would have a field day with ‘what were you thinking…?? How could you?’ Of course he meant well, to protect his baby sister, to love. Going back a few years to when I was a whole lot younger, when I was a teen, my parents were divorced, my father

did not take on too much responsibility as he should have. Looking back now, I don’t think he knew how. He didn’t have a degree, and had odd jobs, so no real income. My mother looked after her four children really hard and did everything she could from morning to night.  I learned all my ethics and morals from  my dear mother and my grandmother who is everything to me, however one thing my father was good at and that was business PR and I beleive I picked that up from him. Aside from that he has always been in our lives but not a figure in our lives as he never led by example, at least not a good example! This certainly presented many obstacles and life lessons for me personaly which is where my brothers would step in as the father figure, being 5, 8 and 10 years my senior.

As for my relationships past and present, I have not had many, but my current, my marriage will be a post of it’s own! It deserves it. It has had its beautiful moments, rather then reflecting only on the negatives. Sadly it will be coming to an end soon, I still live with my husband, we have the most beautiful little girl in the world to us. She is the happiest little girl, she made everyone’s heart smile when she was born, and she continues to do so with her huge heart today. She is only 19 months, but just going to the supermarket she will make sure to say hello to everyone by blowing kisses. She will make an angry man, smile.

When I met my husband we rushed into our marriage, after just three months we were engaged and a year later married. We moved in and it was just a total disaster. There were terrible moments and good moments, those good moments were when I got pregnant.  I then discovered my husband was being unfaithful, when I was pregnant with my baby. After confronting my husband, he begged me to give him another chance and he would do whatever it would take ‘to make it work’. However, he did not do a thing to make the marriage work, we went to therapy, I had found out that he had been cheating on me since day one of the marriage and I had been the fool. It was all a lie. He just wanted someone to take back to his well to do family. If you had met my husband, you would have been shocked. He is the nicest boy next door, the last guy to expect to do this. I guess they always are. I repated what my mother did, shocker! We swear we never will.

My brothers were upset and were on to me. It wasn’t what can we do to help? Rather



et cetera