myjourney2healthy











{February 12, 2013}   Gun Control Now!

Since the horrendous massacre in Newtown, CT the press has been more open and aware about talking  gun control in America. What took so long? Why did it take so many massacres to bring this to light and even now, there is not enough being done. Slowly but surely I have noticed the topic is being swept under the carpet.

 Being British, I have never understood quiet frankly, the American gun culture and probably never will. It is not in my DNA. If American’s use guns to protect themselves, or use them for recreational purposes such as hunting or going to a gun range just for the sake of it, I just don’t get it.

War is a time when families have to worry about relatives being in foreign lands (including myself) with weapons that can kill, but at least we can, to an extent, make sense of it however,  why must we worry on our own doorsteps? Why should we have to worry for our children when we send them to school? Or walk down the block in a gang related shooting such as the latest one in Chicago which the First Lady attended the funeral.

Back in 1996, in Dunblane, 16 children were killed in a massacre in the UK, BUT UNLIKE the United States, something was done about it. John Major who was the Prime minister at the time immediately set up a public a  inquiry. Within one year there was a ban on all hand guns. That, was and is progress and currently there are very few gun shootings a year in the UK.

Back round checks have been suggested, as well as mental health checks. Honestly America, will that be enough to stop the massacres? It will definitely help, but more needs to be done. Something more dramatic.

Gun Control Now!

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{May 9, 2012}   Out Of The Zone

After having a seizure a week and half ago I was completely ‘out of it’. For those who are not familiar, having a seizure for me personally is not the difficult part because to be honest, I am unconscious and well, you could hit me over the head with a baseball bat and I wouldn’t know the difference! (However if you ever do witness someone having a seizure just turn them to their side and make sure they are in a safe place and don’t ever put anything in their mouth!)

The troublesome part is the recovery. I have found that over the years it gets longer to recover from a seizure. It used to be, that after a seizure I slept for a couple of hours and that was it, I was ready to get on with my day. After a few years it started to take a day or two after a seizure to recover. Now it is taking up to four or five days.

The exact time of the seizure happened in the middle of the night (Friday night) which is actually a first for me since I was diagnosed with Epilepsy in my teens. It was confirmed by my husband. I had my usual symptoms of nausea and extreme tiredness that day. The following week, literally Monday to Friday, I was very ‘lazy’ – I didn’t feel like going out much, I was very lethargic, didn’t feel like cooking, almost a depression, but not having depression, I can’t say it is. I know this will only last a few days and I will snap out of it at the right time.

On Friday, we were invited to friends for a weekend away, I went and got a manicure and pedicure, and spent a lovely weekend away… I was back to myself over the weekend, as I mentioned, I knew I would ‘snap out of it’. However, that feeling of losing yourself during that week is so scary and awful. I am not someone who believes in taking medication just for the sake of it.

So I can only hope and pray that I don’t get them and a cure or at least my medications I do take for them keeps the seizures at bay.



I woke up at about 5am Saturday morning and did not feel myself, I felt rather nauseous. This feeling was familiar but not too recently, not since last December. It was the feeling after a Seizure. Not again, I thought. I can’t deal with this now, not that there is ever a good time, why can’t this just ever go away! It gets me so frustrated sometimes but there is nothing one can do about it. I just have to deal with it. I got Epilepsy when I was an early teenager when in London at just 13 years old. In the very early stages, I was not getting seizures at first, just little ‘shakes’. My parents and brothers thought I was doing it for attention! It was awful… the doctors too.

Weeks after I finally had a ‘Grand Mal’ Seizure, I was almost relieved that I proved them wrong. One Saturday morning, my brother called the ambulance and explained to the paramedics what they had seen. My entire body had been convulsing, shaking, they were terrified. I was unconscious. The doctors said to always leave someone with Epilepsy to have their seizure…always make sure they are safe, turn them on their side but NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN THEIR MOUTH. I recovered quickly and was put on anti seizure medication. The side effect was weight gain, but it kept the seizures at bay.

Unfortunately, here and there I still get some seizures and over the years the medications have changed. The types of seizures have also changed with age and amazingly I was able to still have a baby! She is my miracle baby! She is completely healthy thank Gd!

What was unusual for the seizure I had last Friday night was that it was in the middle of the night and I was not sure I had one, but my husband had confirmed that I did. I still feel a little exhausted from it, and it is Wednesday today. It is very hard for other people to understand what I go through, I don’t really try and explain to anyone else. This is the first time I have actually written about it.

I don’t find many people around me are understanding about it, especially my husband. He does what he needs to do to be helpful. The fact that we are getting divorced does not help…he tells me it is stressful for him and I am sure it is. I guess the fact that he keeps telling me how stressful it is doesn’t make me feel any better!

Do you know anyone who has a seizure disorder?



{April 16, 2012}   Gone Too Soon!!

I woke up Sunday to a beautiful blue sky, sun was shining. It was perfect. I had my usual decaf coffee as I wrote my previous blog post ‘fashion fwd!!’ I got my little baby dressed and we headed to visit a very close friend whom considered us ‘family ‘ as we did with him. He had been in the hospital for two weeks as he had Kidney failure however he was on the mend. I thought there was no doubt my little 19 month baby would cheer him up and she did.

When we got to the hospital, immediately I noticed how weak my friend looked, he could not speak without breathing difficulties. They said earlier he had been hyperventilating but it was now under control. After a couple of hours we decided to let him rest, it was for the best. His parents and siblings were there.

Meanwhile, my friends sibling and I went for a nice drive while my little girl had a good little rest in the car and we then had dinner. We then got a call saying that my friend was to be released from the hospital that night! Was that a joke? He could barely move, he was hyperventilating all day, and they were going to let him out? What kind of hospital is this? I’ll tell you which one – Columbia, NYC.

My friend got home, and I quickly said goodbye as I had to get to my home and return the car we had borrowed for the day. I was so happy we had spent the time we did with him, but what happened next was a nightmare I never in a thousand years thought would happened.

As soon as I got home my friend called me and said those words you never want to hear ‘ are you sitting?’ You know something terrible will always follow, I asked ‘what happened?’ ‘My brother got home, and he started to hyperventilate again, but this time it was just too bad and something must have happened, and they (ambulance) can’t resuscitate him. He passed away’. I didn’t beleive him at first, we just spent our day there. I spent 8 years of my life living in his home. He can’t just go. My friend, who just lost his brother wanted to make sure I was alright as I have epilepsy and didn’t want to trigure a seizure ( which can be enduced with stress but I was alright thank Gd).

I quickly went to hug my baby even though it was 10pm, ‘I love you so much my little baby’. I haven’t stopped hugging her today.

When I spoke to my friend when he was in the hospital he told me he had gotten me a gift for my birthday, my birthday is not until September, he was such a good hearted person always thinking of others. He would spontaneously give gifts even if it was not someone’s birthday because that is just who he was, generous and a great person.

We should all aim to be as kind hearted to our friends, neighbours and family. We should live everyday to its fullest, because of obvious reasons.

RIP my dearest friend!!



et cetera