myjourney2healthy











{February 12, 2013}   Gun Control Now!

Since the horrendous massacre in Newtown, CT the press has been more open and aware about talking  gun control in America. What took so long? Why did it take so many massacres to bring this to light and even now, there is not enough being done. Slowly but surely I have noticed the topic is being swept under the carpet.

 Being British, I have never understood quiet frankly, the American gun culture and probably never will. It is not in my DNA. If American’s use guns to protect themselves, or use them for recreational purposes such as hunting or going to a gun range just for the sake of it, I just don’t get it.

War is a time when families have to worry about relatives being in foreign lands (including myself) with weapons that can kill, but at least we can, to an extent, make sense of it however,  why must we worry on our own doorsteps? Why should we have to worry for our children when we send them to school? Or walk down the block in a gang related shooting such as the latest one in Chicago which the First Lady attended the funeral.

Back in 1996, in Dunblane, 16 children were killed in a massacre in the UK, BUT UNLIKE the United States, something was done about it. John Major who was the Prime minister at the time immediately set up a public a  inquiry. Within one year there was a ban on all hand guns. That, was and is progress and currently there are very few gun shootings a year in the UK.

Back round checks have been suggested, as well as mental health checks. Honestly America, will that be enough to stop the massacres? It will definitely help, but more needs to be done. Something more dramatic.

Gun Control Now!

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{February 11, 2013}   Dissapointing Grammy

For years the Grammys have been a place where outrageous artists could express their talent through their fashion. However, this year there was the famous ‘memo’ and everyone came dressed conservatively. Katy Perry’s dress was considered ‘out of line’ because she showed too much ‘boobage’ however, in previous years this would be considered tame, not just for her but compare that to Lady Gaga’s meat dress or J’lo’s barely there dress.

This took away from the excitement of the Grammys, we might have been watching the Emmy’s or another award show, not to mention the lack of good quality music during the actual show.

Let’s hope next year will be better!



{November 11, 2012}   Exhausted, but feeling successful !

After ages of battling the interview, I have succeeded! A couple of weeks ago, I stepped into a modern office in the village area of down town manhattan. They were different to most offices I had been into, they reminded me of the Facebook offices I had seen on television – open space and very relaxed. It was a large media company and since I do love writing, this would be a dream come true! I went through three interviews, each person nicer than the next, it was too good to be true! My exact position would be EA to the editor in chief and CEO.

Several days later, after reference checking, I was called and told I had gotten the job!! I was ecstatic ! It had taken a while, but perseverance and faith – you can achieve anything you want to!! Especially during these rough economic times.

So many people lost faith in me, and that was the hardest part of it, I had to keep going for my little girl 🙂 and me !

Good things come to those who wait and work hard…



{November 2, 2012}   Sandy’s Wrath

I grew up with grey skies and many rainy days, people complained. The nerve. How I appreciate the calmness of London now. While I love living in New York, I have lived through Irene and now Sandy as well as a Tornado which ripped through my neighborhood, when I was pregnant with my little princess.

Honestly, nothing has been quiet like Sandy. While I am in the middle of the 5 Boroughs of NY, I was prepared to lose power, I stocked up on water, canned goods, flash lights, candles, you name it.

My power never went, yet all my friends lost their power, their houses flooded and the damage done was disastrous. I felt so useless, I was glued to the Television watching as the storm progressed, I looked outside, keeping away from the windows, but how could I not look outside?The trees swaying like a monster was shaking it like a toy! I thought it was a matter of time before the tree directly outside my flat fell. How it did not is beyond me!?

The noise of the gusts of wind was like a soundtrack of a movie, it just was not real. I still feel like someone was going to wake me from a nightmare.

However, Sandy’s wrath was very real and hit very hard, people lost their loved ones, and their homes and much more. On a more positive note –  People have also come together, they have given donations, they have offered assistance in their own way, whether it is giving out food or water, please do what you can!



{October 23, 2012}   Twitterverse!!

Hi everyone, I hope you are all having a fantastic day!

No doubt, most of you tuned into the debate last night and have your opinions, I am in no way going to get political, for some reason I never win a political debate even though I know who I stand by! hint: he is African-American and has been around for four years doing a great job! It doesn’t really make a difference anyway since I cannot vote, being British!

So as the two debaters were going on at each other, I decided to check out the Twitterverse and boy was that place busy! From celebs to ‘nobodies’ having their say about each and every line that came out of Obama and Mitt’s mouth, but one quote got me laughing, and that was the one on if there was an attack on Israel… someone wrote ‘an attack on Israel would be like an attack on Zabars’. So I decided to check out who this person was… why? I loved his humour!

Not to be a stalker, I found him on LinkedIn, and sent him a request to add him. Surprisingly he accepted rather quickly! This morning, I sent him a note, after realising he is a big executive for a Media company we all know, but I will keep him anonymous out of respect. I told him that I found his comment last night rather humourous and went on to tell him about myself! I told him I had been working as a PA for the past ten years and am looking to get into something different… he wrote back immediately and said he would love to meet to see what he could do!

I am so excited to hear back for an exact date from his pa…but wish me luck, you never know who you can meet on Twitter!!! As someone once told me, always think out of the box! :))



{October 22, 2012}   Looking for a challenge in NYC?!!

It is a beautiful sunny autumn day here in NYC,  this week I am back and have my ‘fighting gear on’! I am drinking a large Luke warm glass of lemon water which is part of my daily ‘ritual’. I try and have several a day. It is excellent for the skin and body (see my blog on lemons). As for water, it is the only liquid I drink and has probably been one of the most useful aids in helping me lose weight. I even added an app on my Iphone called ‘water’ to make sure I drink enough, it can be annoying but it definitely helps. I am so proud of myself for losing the 24lbs that I have. I worked hard to lose that and now I am looking for a challenge, I am not sure what exactly I am looking for.. a hike, a bike ride, but something. Does anyone have any ideas for a challenge here in NYC? I am open for ideas, perhaps you would like to join me? Perhaps you too are looking for a challenge? Throw your ideas at me :))



{October 19, 2012}   I feel like I am drowning…

I wrote a whole post, and for whatever reason it did not post. I yelled. So loudly. My throat hurts. I feel like everything and everyone is against me and I am slowly drowning. I am being tested and I don’t feel like I am passing. I have been through so much in my life, and I have always been the ‘cup is half full’ person. I am not sure what is happening to me.

If you have been following my journey, you will know that I have done well and have lost weight, I am now down 24lbs…..but today this is not about that.

At the moment for the first time, my divorce is bringing me down.  I even went into my divorce in a positive way beleive it or not, I beleived we could be the ‘modern family’ and be friends. Before the summer, I went to an ice cream parlour with my mother in law and explained that I had gotten a lawyer, however I wanted this divorce to be amicable. Even though my husband had been unfaithful to me since day one, I was not going to make that an issue. I didnt want my daughter to suffer. It was vital, that there was peace, so we agreed and as I discussed this with my husband that day too – we went on to have a summer going to the beach together. It was not easy on me but I did it…we went to the zoo and joined together for other activities such as the Jewish Holidays.

My husband who has very bad ADD or ADHD (he has never been diagnosed as an adult as he refuses to and lives in total denial, but he admits he has one or the other). He does not talk about it at all and this has also been a big part of the downfall to our marriage, not because he has ADD but because he refuses to get the help that he needs, and I feel so sad for him. He has his mother and father do everything for him, literally, including getting a lawyer which took the entire summer and cost me $2000 in lawyer fees (so far) just to chase him… and remind him over and over with his procrastination issues… he cannot hold a job, therefore he cannot provide for his daughter. He has his siblings write up his resume, and look for work for him, while he sits at home all day playing xbox.

While I seriously look for work and have done everything to be amicable with my husband and his family – and we were all summer, all of a sudden last week they turned on me and distanced themselves after hiring a lawyer. They took my baby’s passport away for fear that I would flee the country which anyone who knows me is ridiculous!! I am the most moral person there is and would never do such a thing, and I never gave them reason to think that.

I am still living with my husband, looking for work on a daily basis, I have even written blogs about that… I cannot afford to move out, I applied to common ground but they denied. I have tried so many organisations, but they cannot help, they just want to listen. I don’t get it.

Why can’t anyone help?? Why?? Why am I being punished for my husbands unfaithful behavior? When I wanted to do this amicably, why did they turn on me?

I just want to work hard and provide for my baby girl, why is that so much to ask. I am well educated with an excellent resume. Why can’t people help with living…



I have missed being on WordPress for the past couple of months, catching up on recipes, whats going on in the fashion world, personal opinions as far as politics goes…and all the other personal blogs I read – be ready I am back!

As for my journey, I am still on it and I hope you all are too, whatever that may be. When I took a ‘time-out’ from writing I began a different journey. I had lost weight, but I was at a standstill, one morning I received an e-mail from Livingsocial.com advertising a boot camp. The only exercise I was doing at the time was walking and for me personally it was not enough, I needed some cardio, infact I needed a lot of cardio! I was also having seizures at the time, everything was a mess.

My life if you have been following me at all is slightly complicated, nothing crazy, but I spent way too much time crying (complaining) about it and I needed to just get up and do do do!! So I signed up with this boot camp and as you may guess it is the best thing I could have done, physically, mentally, emotionally – you name it. The energy that comes from one hour of full on cardio and toning with crazy trainers is just awesome, and then you just want more and more… it is like a drug. Then you of course want to continue eating healthy – because why waste that brilliant work out on a burger etc. Not that I have ever really liked burgers for some reason… sorry I am not American :)) My health is back on track, seizures are less and only come on due to stress, and being that I am going through a divorce… not easy. Even that I am seeing through a different light.

A few months ago I was just complaining and waiting to see what would happen… there were organizations that were going to help fund me with pro-bono lawyers – YEAH RIGHT!! On a serious note, I was speaking to a pro-bono lawyer over a time period of 8 months saying she would help me out of my situation…she made me wait and wait and wait at the very end of all this she then said ‘sorry I cannot take your case on’. Why couldn’t she just tell me this from day one? Anyway, I have learned that nothing in this world is free and only amazing friends will be there for you during difficult times and with a loan, I hired a lawyer and am filing for divorce. My husband and I are doing things as amicably as possible, for the sake of my daughter. Although there is a huge part of me that still wonders and I questions him as to why he never fought for me before filing, as I did warn him, which makes me sad, and I know and  he doesn’t want to get divorced – he just isn’t the type of person to fight,, or get the help he needs – he is a big momma’s boy and literally needs her to do everything for him. But sadly there is no trust after he cheated…. I need a new start and a healthier situation for my daughter.

Weight wise, I have lost 18lbs since day one and what is weird when I look in the mirror I don’t see a really thin me, but I feel healthy and that is the best feeling ever! I currently weigh 132lbs and I still have a way to go….remember I am not tall 🙂



{May 9, 2012}   Out Of The Zone

After having a seizure a week and half ago I was completely ‘out of it’. For those who are not familiar, having a seizure for me personally is not the difficult part because to be honest, I am unconscious and well, you could hit me over the head with a baseball bat and I wouldn’t know the difference! (However if you ever do witness someone having a seizure just turn them to their side and make sure they are in a safe place and don’t ever put anything in their mouth!)

The troublesome part is the recovery. I have found that over the years it gets longer to recover from a seizure. It used to be, that after a seizure I slept for a couple of hours and that was it, I was ready to get on with my day. After a few years it started to take a day or two after a seizure to recover. Now it is taking up to four or five days.

The exact time of the seizure happened in the middle of the night (Friday night) which is actually a first for me since I was diagnosed with Epilepsy in my teens. It was confirmed by my husband. I had my usual symptoms of nausea and extreme tiredness that day. The following week, literally Monday to Friday, I was very ‘lazy’ – I didn’t feel like going out much, I was very lethargic, didn’t feel like cooking, almost a depression, but not having depression, I can’t say it is. I know this will only last a few days and I will snap out of it at the right time.

On Friday, we were invited to friends for a weekend away, I went and got a manicure and pedicure, and spent a lovely weekend away… I was back to myself over the weekend, as I mentioned, I knew I would ‘snap out of it’. However, that feeling of losing yourself during that week is so scary and awful. I am not someone who believes in taking medication just for the sake of it.

So I can only hope and pray that I don’t get them and a cure or at least my medications I do take for them keeps the seizures at bay.



I woke up at about 5am Saturday morning and did not feel myself, I felt rather nauseous. This feeling was familiar but not too recently, not since last December. It was the feeling after a Seizure. Not again, I thought. I can’t deal with this now, not that there is ever a good time, why can’t this just ever go away! It gets me so frustrated sometimes but there is nothing one can do about it. I just have to deal with it. I got Epilepsy when I was an early teenager when in London at just 13 years old. In the very early stages, I was not getting seizures at first, just little ‘shakes’. My parents and brothers thought I was doing it for attention! It was awful… the doctors too.

Weeks after I finally had a ‘Grand Mal’ Seizure, I was almost relieved that I proved them wrong. One Saturday morning, my brother called the ambulance and explained to the paramedics what they had seen. My entire body had been convulsing, shaking, they were terrified. I was unconscious. The doctors said to always leave someone with Epilepsy to have their seizure…always make sure they are safe, turn them on their side but NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN THEIR MOUTH. I recovered quickly and was put on anti seizure medication. The side effect was weight gain, but it kept the seizures at bay.

Unfortunately, here and there I still get some seizures and over the years the medications have changed. The types of seizures have also changed with age and amazingly I was able to still have a baby! She is my miracle baby! She is completely healthy thank Gd!

What was unusual for the seizure I had last Friday night was that it was in the middle of the night and I was not sure I had one, but my husband had confirmed that I did. I still feel a little exhausted from it, and it is Wednesday today. It is very hard for other people to understand what I go through, I don’t really try and explain to anyone else. This is the first time I have actually written about it.

I don’t find many people around me are understanding about it, especially my husband. He does what he needs to do to be helpful. The fact that we are getting divorced does not help…he tells me it is stressful for him and I am sure it is. I guess the fact that he keeps telling me how stressful it is doesn’t make me feel any better!

Do you know anyone who has a seizure disorder?



et cetera